Open Your Eyes
by gawilliams
Summary: Esposito pays a visit to Beckett to try and make her face some reality about her feelings for Castle.  Takes place a few days after the events in the episode Knockdown.
1. Chapter 1

_This is something that came to me after watching the latest episode, the one with the much speculated upon kiss between Castle and Beckett. I wanted to see about using that episode as a vehicle for Beckett to see a bit of reality with regards to her feelings about Castle, and what Castle's are towards her. I hope you enjoy this one. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Esposito knocked on the door and waited for an answer. He knew that he was taking a big risk, and would likely be facing some serious penance soon, but he had to say something. This last case had been one that had made a few things extremely clear to him, and he wanted to keep Beckett from making a serious mistake. He'd tried to do so the precious Spring, but had been a bit too late. He hoped that this time it wouldn't be. The door opened and he looked into the face of his boss, and good friend, Kate Beckett.

"Esposito?" Beckett asked, wondering why he was here.

"Yeah, is it okay to come in? I'm not interrupting anything am I?" he asked, hoping that no one was there, especially her boyfriend Josh.

"No, I'm alone," she said, allowing him to come in. "Want anything? Coffee, soda, beer?" she asked.

"Beer would be cool," Esposito said, taking in the apartment. It was open and very nice. He took a seat on the couch and nodded his thanks when Beckett brought him a beer and sat in a chair across from him.

"So how are you and Ryan?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Ryan has a bit of a lung infection from what happened, and I'll cop to being a bit shook up, but we're okay," he replied. He didn't mention the nightmares of the last few nights, or the fact that Ryan had been having trouble sleeping, too. Beckett had enough on her plate about the case and its history to be worrying about them.

"So what brings you by?" she asked. Not that she minded Esposito, or any of her team, coming by, but except for Castle, it was not very common.

Esposito sighed. "Look, I don't wanna get you mad, but there's something I wanna say, and it's because I care," he told her.

"Okay," she said slowly, trying not to get nervous. Esposito wasn't normally one to intrude on anything, and the last time was last Spring. Her eyes widened slightly, but she tamped down her nervousness. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear this.

"Beckett, you're my Boss, and I respect that, but you're also my friend, almost like a little sister," he told her. "You're making the same mistake you made last year with Demming."

"I think you better stop before I do get mad," Kate held up her hand, trying to keep control.

"I'm not saying Josh isn't a good guy, Beckett," he continued. "And I never said Tom was a bad guy, either. But you flaunted him in front of Castle, and you're basically doing the same thing with Josh. It's not right, and Josh, like Tom, isn't the guy for you. You know that Beckett."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Beckett tried to shrug it off. She didn't mean it, but she was not comfortable now that she was thrown into confusion once again after that kiss.

"Then why is Castle still hanging around and helping us after two and a half years?" he asked. "Why do you think he broke up with Gina? Why do you think he bought that bar? Why the hell would he get involved with what was happening when you guys saved Ryan and me? It's because of you, Beckett."

Kate was trying to keep from reeling. None of this was anything she hadn't been thinking about since that kiss before knocking out that thug the other night. Rick may have given her an out by passing it off as a distraction, but that kiss was real, and the passion behind it on both their parts was real. She'd been so angry when she'd blown it last Spring, and then when she met Josh she went for it because she needed someone, a warm, hot someone, to keep her mind off of what she had thrown away so carelessly.

"Castle shouldn't have been anywhere near there, yet he was and he risked it all in a situation he has no training for, to keep that bastard from killing you," he continued. "Could you say with a straight face that Josh would do the same?"

Kate slumped. "No," she said quietly. Josh was a great guy, but she couldn't imagine him putting himself out there like Castle did. Castle had come by and when she'd tried to keep him out of all of this he'd refused. He'd made it clear he was here for her no matter what. No one in her life had ever shown her that kind of devotion. Maybe it was time to face facts and quit trying to avoid what she'd essentially used first Tom, and now Josh for.

Esposito stood up and set down his now empty beer bottle. "You can decide whatever you want, Kate," he told her. "And no one is going to give you any grief. But ask yourself something. Is avoiding being with Castle worth losing him when he can't take it anymore? You waited too long last Spring and look what happened and how you felt. Do you really wanna go through that again?"

Kate watched as Esposito left and she continued thinking about what he'd said. The range of emotions was there, and it wasn't something she'd ever wanted to have to face. But he was right. Castle may be impetuous, and childish, but he had over the last couple of years proven himself to be the best friend she'd ever had. He had also, by his actions, shown how deeply he felt about her, and that kiss the other night had eliminated whatever doubts she may have had. All the things that caused her to end up seeking a distraction with Tom and then Josh had simply been Castle reacting to her own mixed signals. Agent Shaw had been right all along, and Kate had foolishly let that advice slide by without really pondering it. Josh wasn't going to be getting back for some time, but she was going to have to talk to Castle and see if she could possibly make this right. It was time that she went forward now that her eyes had been opened to a dose of reality.

_A/N: I wanted this one short, and this is what I came up with. It still leaves things open for her to have time to deal with her emotions, whether she remains with Josh for a while longer or not, but still make the right choice in the end now that Esposito had given her something to think about like he had last season. I hope you all liked this one. Gregg._


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you for the great response to the first chapter to this one. I have decided to make it a three chapter story. In this chapter someone has a talk with Castle to maybe get him to open his eyes, too. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

"Captain!" Castle said, surprised at finding Captain Montgomery at his door.

"Can I come in?" Montgomery asked. "I'd like to talk to you about a couple of things."

"Certainly," Castle ushered him in. While he was smarting a bit over the Nancy Drew comment the Captain had made the other day, he understood the man was under pressure and worried about Beckett. "How about a beer?"

"Got any good Scotch?" Montgomery asked, knowing the man had a liquor cabinet loaded with some of the best booze money could buy. He was supposedly on duty, but this conversation needed a little mental lubrication.

"One 50 year old single malt coming up," Castle replied, making his way over to his wet bar. He poured them each a double on the rocks and brought it over to the older man and sat down across from him.

"Damn, that's good booze," Montgomery admired after taking a sip of the fine liquor.

"Only the best for my friends," Castle quipped, but he meant it.

"I owe you an apology, Castle," Montgomery told him, beginning the conversation. "That dig about Nancy Drew was out of line, and I wanted you to know that you do a hell of a lot for us."

"You were under a lot of pressure and worried about Beckett, Captain," Castle shrugged it off.

"It's Roy, Castle," Montgomery emphasized. "At least outside the station."

Castle grinned. "Rick," he said.

"You're part of the team, Rick," Roy continued. "We all know that, and what's more important, Ryan, Esposito, and Beckett know it. Ryan and Esposito tried to turn down the assignment when I booted Beckett off the case and sent you home."

"Really?" Castle looked up, surprised.

"Oh yeah," Roy nodded. "I threatened to ship their asses back to traffic duty if they didn't work the case as ordered."

"Would you have?" Castle asked curiously.

Roy nodded. "I respect loyalty, Rick, but I can't risk the life of my best detective because the best detectives after her won't take a case because of that loyalty," he replied. "Let me ask you something, and I want a straight answer. No bullshit."

Castle cocked his head, knowing that this was a serious discussion and he wasn't going to get away with any smart ass comments. "Okay," he allowed.

"Why did you go in that building?" Roy asked. "And more important why did you take on, and try to duke it out with, a trained assassin who is likely a top dog in that line of business."

Castle got very uncomfortable. His Mother had essentially asked him the same thing before it all happened in the aftermath of the death of that retired detective, Raglan, and while he knew the answer, he was not comfortable answering it. He'd made such a mess of things for so long, and now he wasn't sure what was going to happen. That damn kiss may or may not have been the best thing he'd ever done with respect to the future with Kate Beckett.

Roy shook his head. "You're still too chickenshit to say it, aren't you?" he questioned. "Damn it, Rick. You love that woman, and I know damn well that she loves you. The real question is what are you going to do about it?"

"She's seeing Josh, now," Castle tried to evade the question.

"As if that's really going to last," Roy shot back with some real confidence. He'd seen how Beckett had been when Castle had not been around the precinct the last couple of months and was with his ex-wife. Beckett may be using this Josh guy as a distraction, but it didn't have any real substance supporting it. She'd figure it out soon enough.

"What do you want me to say, Roy? That I love her? That she should be with me instead of him?" Castle blurted out, frustrated.

Roy sipped his Scotch. "That's a start," he agreed. "At least you'd be being honest with yourself. No one I know with no training for that kind of situation would do what you did. That says a lot, Rick, and I know it will affect her when she thinks about it."

"What if she says no, and it ruins the friendship?" Castle voiced his true dread.

"It won't," Roy told him. "And as for her saying no, I don't think that's going to happen. Not after all that's happened." He drained the rest of the Scotch and stood up. "Think about what I've said, Rick. I can't think of two more perfect people to be together, even though you two are polar opposites."

Castle stood and walked him to the door. He was surprised when Roy stopped and turned to face him.

"I shouldn't do this, and if anyone higher up finds out my ass will be in a sling," Roy started. "I'm going to have Ryan and Esposito give you some training, real training, so that if you're ever in a situation like the other night, or some of the other ones that have happened, you'll know what to do. You won't be authorized a gun, but I'll let them know that if it's an emergency, they can hand you a backup piece. I'm trusting you to help keep my people safe, Castle. That should tell you something about how we feel about you." He paused. "And one more thing. If you do get some balls and make a try for Beckett, and she agrees to give the two of you a shot, remember one thing. You hurt her, and I'll make sure you know the _**real**_ meaning of Old School. I've always been a good cop and always played by the rules, but that doesn't mean I'm not Old School enough to _**know**_ how it was done in the old days. That's how much Beckett means to me as my friend, Castle. Remember that."

"Thanks, Captain," Castle replied, using the man's rank to let him know that he understood and respected what he'd said.

Castle walked back to his office and sat down, staring at his rows of books on the shelves. He had a lot to think about, and the Captain had added to it. His Mother had started it all the other day, and then this whole situation had gotten so out of control. He'd kissed Kate the other night because he was so deathly afraid that one of them wouldn't get out of that nightmare alive and he wanted to show her how he felt at least once. He was positive her active response was real, and not the nodding acceptance of his out he gave her about some distraction or other. But knowing that in his mind and talking to her about all this were two different things entirely. But she deserved the truth. His Mother had been right. He stuck around because he wanted to, and he wanted to because he was in love with Beckett. He'd screwed up so bad last Spring, and he was on the verge of screwing up again by being such a coward. He made up his mind that he would be talking to Kate soon. It was time to open his eyes to reality about him and Beckett.

_A/N: Another short one where Castle is given some advice. I debated on having Ryan be the one to approach him, but in the end decided on Montgomery as it would cement the respect up and down the line among the group. I hope that you all enjoyed this one. There will be one more chapter to this, probably this weekend, where Beckett and Castle do talk about this. Gregg._


	3. Chapter 3

_I am overwhelmed at the response to this story, especially to the talk between Castle and Montgomery. I can only hope that this final conversation, between Castle and Beckett, is as engaging as the two previous ones seem to be. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Castle stood nervously at the door to Kate's apartment. It had been a week since his conversation with Montgomery about the whole situation between himself and Kate. In that time he'd definitely made the decision to be honest with her, assuming the timing were right for such a conversation. He'd been surprised this morning when she had called him and asked him to come over that afternoon. Curious as always, he'd said he'd be there after he had lunch with Alexis. Raising his hand he knocked sharply on the door and waited. Within moments the door opened revealing the object of his constant musings, and his frequent night time fantasies. Damn she looked incredible in a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt with her hair pulled up in a simple pony tail. She'd obviously been doing some house cleaning.

"Castle," Kate said with a smile. She was pleased he was here, and she would be able to have a conversation with him uninterrupted. She'd been doing a lot of thinking in the past week since her talk with Esposito and had reached some serious decisions. "Come on in."

"Thanks," Castle grinned. He was always happy to see her with a smile. It didn't surface too often when at work, but in a more casual setting it lit up the room in his opinion.

Kate came into the front room with a beer for each of them, and sat down close, but in an easy chair near the couch. She regarded him closely as he took a sip of his beer. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but at the same time she **knew** that he was nervous. The slightly stiffer posture, the darting of his eyes, and the light, almost imperceptible tapping of his foot on the floor. Good. He was as nervous as she was. She only hoped it was for the same reason.

"How's your hand?' she asked, noticing that he still had it wrapped, though not as fully as the other day.

Castle shrugged. "It's a bit sore, but it's better than it was," he told her. "I'm very sorry we didn't find out who was at the head of all this."

Beckett tried to hold her emotions at bay on that issue. She'd been very torn up the night it all went down, and even more so when that bastard who'd almost killed Ryan and Esposito just sat there and didn't say a fucking word! She took a deep, steadying breath. While she wasn't averse to cursing, she was rarely that vehement, even in her own mind.

"We will someday," she said firmly. "We're closer now than we ever were, and he has to be scared given what we've found so far."

"You said _**we**_," Castle commented, a smile on his face.

That observation brought it all back to Beckett about why she had called him over to talk. She went back to regarding him once more. Truth be told, she could observe him for hours and not get bored. That was another piece to the puzzle. Castle was intriguing, fascinating, and any number of adjectives that prompted continuing interest. Josh was good looking, and was smart, but lacked that certain something that could keep her attention unreservedly. And while Josh was fun, Castle made life itself fun, even her job which dealt with some of the worst in the world.

"I'm breaking up with Josh," she told him. She said it without prefacing it, or preparing Castle for it. She wanted to see his honest reaction. What she saw, was what she was hoping. There was that brief flash in his eyes of hope, and happiness. Then his eyes went back to his normal caring countenance.

"I'm sorry," he told her. He hated saying that, but in his own way he was telling the truth. Regardless of what was happening, what was really important to him was that she be happy.

"Don't be," she told him. "I was using him to distract me from..." she trailed off. The realization of what she had done to two nice guys made her feel a bit ashamed. She wasn't one to avoid having some fun, and Tom and Josh were fun to be with, but she didn't like the idea that she had essentially been stringing someone along in the process. Maybe she hadn't consciously thought of it like that at the time, but she couldn't deny the truth of it any longer.

"From what?" Castle pressed.

Beckett sighed. "From you, and how I made such a mess of things between us. First with Tom, and then by not telling you soon enough that I wanted to go to the Hamptons with you," she admitted. "Frankly, Tom was a distraction, too."

"I wasn't a saint in all this, either," Castle pointed out.

"Deep Fried Twinkie," Beckett said with a raised brow, reminding him of one of his less than stellar moments.

"Not one of my better moments, to be sure," Castle grimaced. He still got some grief over that from the guys. He could tell that Beckett was still a bit piqued over that particular episode.

"Why did you invite me to the Hamptons?" she asked, wanting an answer to a question she'd been wondering about for some time now, even before she had been rethinking things the last few weeks as her professional relationship with Castle got back to the comfortable level it had been before he left for the Hampton's, indeed before she had started seeing Demming the previous Spring.

"Because I needed to get away, and seeing you with Demming was driving me crazy," he said honestly. "I wanted to bring you with me, first to give you a break from all that you do, but also because I wanted to see if maybe we could make a relationship work."

Beckett cursed herself as he confirmed everything that Esposito had told her back then, and also just the other day. Shaw had definitely been right, and Kate was feeling such a fool for not having listened to her. Looking back on it all the signs had been right there in front of her about how Castle really felt about her.

"Why did you kiss me the other night?" she asked. Ever the detective she was trying to find more pieces to the puzzle. The image was becoming more and more clear, and was matching her conclusions, and the decision she had made, perfectly. She kept her eyes focused on his.

Castle was still skittish about admitting all this to her, but she had just told him some very revealing, and painful truths. "Because I knew there was a good chance that one or both of us may not come out of it alive and just once I wanted to be honest with you about how I feel," he told her, with complete, serious honesty shining through.

"And how do you feel?" she asked, wanting to hear the words. This was too important to simply rely on inference, even if it was so powerful from the words spoken.

"I love you," Castle revealed. He had been building himself up to say that ever since Montgomery had come to see him, and now he was saying it. "Actually I'm _**in**_ love with you," he elaborated. "Have been for a long time, but I was too much of a coward to say it."

Once more the range of emotions played through her mind. Anger that all this past year or more could have been avoided if each of them had been willing to be honest with the other, relief that it was now out in the open, fear of what it could mean to their friendship which each of them valued so highly, and chagrin that it had taken so many missteps and a near tragedy to wrench the truth from them.

"I'm in love with you, too, Rick," she told him, using his first name to underscore the depth of what she was saying. "I just hate the fact that in the process of getting the courage to say that I'll have hurt two really nice guys."

Castle didn't have anything to say to that, and he was not about to make some smart ass remark in the face of all this, so he kept quiet. He knew she was struggling with this, as he was, but at least they had opened their eyes to the truth.

"I won't break up with Josh until he gets back from Africa and I can explain it to him face to face, Castle," she told him, continuing with the decision she'd made after Esposito's visit. "Which means I won't date you until he has come back and I let him know what's going on. I refuse to hurt him when he's away like that, and I won't cheat on someone, either."

"I wouldn't expect you to," Castle assured her. "Could we at least get back to the way things were before you started seeing Demming? You know. Some movie nights, takeout, just visiting and being friends?" he asked. He needed something. Some connection to let him know that this was real and actually happening.

Beckett smiled. She'd missed those times, and she knew that she needed to make some effort to show him that this was serious. She was also sure that Rick Castle was her one and done. The perspective she'd gained from Esposito, and the serious thinking she'd done about the last couple of years had shown her that. But first she needed to work on rebuilding the foundation of their unique friendship. Not dating, no romance, but simply two very good friends spending time together.

"Yeah, I'd like that Castle," she told him, a smile firmly in place, and showing in her eyes. "But first, how about a walk in the park? We've still got a lot to talk about."

"We do, don't we," he chuckled wryly. "A walk in the park sounds very nice. You do realize we will be in for a lot of _**I told you so**_ comments from my Mother. She's been on me to open my eyes and see what was right in front of me from almost the first time we met."

"Let me go change and then we can head out," Beckett told him, leaving him in the living room. As she opened her closet she smiled. For the first time in a long time, despite the fun she'd had with Tom and then Josh, she felt like things were finally right.

As for Castle, he sat there waiting for her and making a promise to himself. He promised that when it came to Kate Beckett, honesty was going to be how he lived his life. Forget all the superficial smart ass, except in those fun moments when it was harmless flirting and joking around. When it was serious, he was going to make sure that she knew from the very start how he felt, and how damn lucky he was to have her in his life.

"Ready to go Plucky Sidekick?" she asked, a gleam of excitement in her eyes.

"Always," he told her as they left the apartment.

_A/N: I know some may want to shoot me for them not fully getting together, but I wanted to make sure that the personal integrity that I feel Beckett has carried through. I just can't see her effectively sending a Dear John letter, e-mail, or Dear John phone call to end things with Josh. I also don't see Castle wanting her to hurt someone like that, either. I also can't see them putting off this conversation for long since too much has happened because of a lack of communication and both know it. I hope you enjoyed this three chapter story. I hope to write more _Castle_ stories soon. Gregg._


End file.
